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Monday, 31 March 2008

  • Dawg, it's too much!!

    Lately, i've been having a new perspective on God n it's messin my mind up!!! God is SOOO big! Our world is just too small compared to Him and to think that we live on that small world and He actually wants us and seeks us out. Dawg, it's TOO much!!! One step further, He, this great big God, lives inside us!!

    I want to see God's eyes. It'd make me blind, but i really don't care! I want to be radically changed the way Saul/Paul was when in that moment (at the most what 2 min?) when he saw God, he was SO MESSED UP!!

    God, so holy and worthy and the fact that He wants a relationship with a heathen like me? A person that's so small? Probably the size of an atom or smaller with the rate of a parasite? Man, it's TOO MUCH!! I look at His creation and it's so funny cuz i see God creating this world like an architect would with a miniature. The trees can be moved by His hand and be done by whatever He wills. Dawg!! IT'S TOO MUCH!!!

    Can you imagine His eyes right now? Eyes burning of the richest of flames and intoxicating to want our attention and love right now, but can you even imagine what His eyes will be like when it's He's waiting on our wedding day as a Bridegroom?? DAWG, IT'S TOO MUCH!!!!

    And when the wind blows, can you imagine that it's His breath cooling you like a lover who blows on his beloved's face to cool her when she's hot and sweating from the hot weather? Or when it's raining, can you imagine His tears falling on you because our betrayal hurts him too much?

    And the fact that He came down..as HUGE as He is in a TINY shell covered in skin. Oh how much did it hurt You, Lord when You were killed by the ones You loved the most? As BIG as You are and as SMALL as we are. Praise be to You, in all of Your holiness that You have the grace and mercy to not smite us down right now!! Holy holy holy are You to resurrect from the dead. The grave could not hold You and You have defeated the ancient serpent's work!! You live! You live! You live! You live!!

    Challenge: If you're living today, it simply means that He's given you the chance to correct the wrongs of yesterday and to conquer your sins by the power of Him today to live to be closer to Him tomorrow. Is it really too much to ask to talk to someone?

Thursday, 13 March 2008

  • Chapter 1 of The War for Souls

    At first i was thinkin of just a deep, but simple story about spiritual warfare and now i'm thinking about going through the whole Bible with this story...it's gonna be the LONGEST story i've ever written in my entire life if i were to keep up with the story..well, i haven't finished ch.1, but since u guys have been supportive and most have read my prologue (granted i changed/added some words to it, but still much the same), i'll post what i have ch.1. As u can see, even if it's not finished n a rough draft it's long so i'd advise u to read when u have a lot of time on ur hands. Enjoy :)

    Chapter One: The Fall

    Within the great land of Spirea, there was a kingdom small in size, but great in beauty. This kingdom was well known for its gardens and abundance of fruit and vegetation. Its glory came from the sparkling unceasing waters that ran through the land. There was only one season in this kingdom – always summer. The trees were always alive and the animals that lived were always fat and happy. The kingdom was known as Eden. Its beauty surpassed even the well-known kingdom of Babylon that was not so far off this kingdom. However, the kingdom’s glory was short lived when a Shape-shifter arrived. Unbeknownst to the King and Queen of Eden, there was a shadow of a man on a wall that transformed into a snake and it headed toward the noise.

    “Great King and Queen of Eden, what pleases thy ear? Music from the sweetest wood or brass? Come, come, choose thy pleasure.” A dog requested as he held his paw toward a line of animals with their instruments in hand.

    The King and Queen of Eden laughed heartily. The King asked his Queen, “What doest thou wish to entertain thy sweet ear?”

    “I offer no war, Your Grace, but to be in peace with your will and whatever my King choose, therefore I choose also.” The Queen replied with much poise and charming smile.

    The King raised his cup of wine and bellowed, “In light of this mood and banquet among companions, I choose all for this festive night.”

    The Shape-shifter, now a snake, crawled its way under the King and Queen’s table. The cloth hid his sneaky intentions, but time was of the essence if the plan to destroy the kingdom of Eden were to come to pass. The Shape-shifter wasted not as he crawled upward in circular motion up the table leg. While music played, squires danced, and the King and Queen’s eyes occupied, the snake was a stealth enemy. It reached a certain bowl of fruit that was directly in front of the King and Queen. Sliding away from their sight, he went up and bit an apple. The snake hurriedly left the table and headed toward his master – the Great Illusionist.

    The venom inside the apple carried its infection to make everything within the bowl toxic when consumed. The outer appearance however did not change, but made it even more seductive to eat. The Queen, seeing the apple the Shape-shifter had bitten, took one and looked at it. Quizzically, the Queen asked, “My lord, are these not beautiful apples?”

    “What schemed question is this, sweet Queen of Eden?” The King laughed.

    “This fruit bowl was delivered as a special gift from the Great Illusionist himself.” A guard whispered to the King and Queen.

    “The Great Illusionist? Never have I heard of the name. Pray, tell.” The King questioned as he took the apple his wife held.

    “He gave the fruited bowl as a promise of wisdom and eternal life.” The guard answered.

    When the Queen saw that the fruit of the bowl was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She then gave to her husband and he ate it. A curse broke out in the form of a black mist; at this very moment, time stood still as the good King and Queen of Eden died of toxic poison. Their loyal subjects yelled at each other to find the culprit – there was an enemy in the Paradise of Eden.

    They soon turned against each other with blame and consented to murder, theft, slavery, and all things of debauchery. The babe heir of Eden was gravely in danger, but was kidnapped and saved by the Holies of Three who sent their greatest weapon that could save anyone no matter the situation or number to face. Her name was never mentioned when the Holies of Three ordered her leave; her codename was simply Mercy. She came in the night while the once loyal subjects turned corrupt. The toxic from the fruited bowl grew and evil took over. Mercy flew in without a single word covered in all black to match the night sky and shadows of the now dark castle. She took the baby girl in her arms and escaped by a winged horse careful to avoid the eyes of the enemy – even the Great Illusionist.

    The Shape-shifter transformed back to his human form after sliding through the grand forest that divided Eden and the outside world. The Shape-shifter reached his master and reported, “Thy deed is done.”

    A smirk with ill intention formed as the Great Illusionist replied, “What better yet than to start with the sovereign king’s first man?”

    The Shape-shifter breathed deeply and was aroused, “Eden’s subjects turn amongst each other. A paradise ruined – a beauty in sight to thy great eyes, my lord. The war starts; what shall we do now to please thee? Answer quickly and I will go as a messenger to do thy will. Shall we call upon Legion?”

    His master did not answer directly, but smiled evilly at the sight of Eden’s downfall. After a while, he replied, “Come, we have much to do…in this war for souls.”

    And together, they walked away ready to proceed their next attack – the land where the Boatman lived.

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

  • Be Still Phase

    Well, i'm home! It's going by and i'm always in a daze. I've been sleeping a lot which is good cuz i need to catch up on that..haven't been sleeping well up in Tallahassee cuz i messed up on my body clock haha :) Well, i finally got the application to the London Internship. I've been talking to Simon Bardone through e-mail for some time about the London internship. Oh, he's the executive director for the whole thing.

    Yea, seems like it's going fine..my dad's supporting me with $2,000 and he told me to use the $2,000 that's in savings b/c he planned to use it for future vacation or traveling anyway. So in total, i've raised $5,000 so far. I'll be working during the summer 2008 and 2009. I need to find a job that'll accept me. I really don't want to work at Burgundy b/c i remember very clearly how much $ i wasted by being inside the mall and that's not really great, but at the same time, if i had to, i'd work there again.

    I've applied to Borders..they told me that they'll get back to me in 90 days -.- and i've applied as a nurse technician, but they declined me. Oh well, i gotta break the news to borah..can't see her while she works =/ lol that woman's prolly sick of me anyways haha "soul mates" we're known as by ross middleton.

    I need to apply for Barnes&Noble, but i don't think they're hiring..haven't seen a sign up. Borah suggested that i work at osaka..i think i might do that actually. Can't hurt to see if they're hiring :) Anyway, if anything please please please pray for me to find a job during the summer and for me to persevere through it all to raise $18,000..oh btw, i might do the MPD which is the partnership ministry..i don't know too much about it, but i think i'll just e-mail Simon again. ionno, we'll see.

     

Monday, 03 March 2008

  • A Prayer Answered

    So I just came back from my parents last week and my dad had a talk with me. Actually it was more him talking and me listening, but it was good. He said that if i were to go into full-time ministry then it'd be ok. Meaning that God gave me a blessing to be with my family if i were to go into full-time ministry (which i'm still firmly rooted about). The thing that made them edgy and still edgy (my mom isn't likin the idea of me in ministry, but still says ok about it) is the issue of money. We're not a rich family and they need to not only support me, but also my brother. My brother will most likely go to an out-of-state college which will raise the tuition to probably three times the original price for an instate one.

    Anyway, they allowed me to go to the London internship which is 9 months starting september every year. I am planning on going September 2009. I graduate at Florida State University in Spring 09. Each month in London is approximately $2,000 which means i must have $18,000 before September 2009. This London internship will either confirm or not confirm my calling to full-time ministry. I am absolutely sure it will confirm, but anyway, my parents would like me to go to graduate school for getting the training i would need for full-time ministry so again there's the money issue for that as well.

    Also my parents want me to do tesol or do the jet program or Teach for America or something like that so i can have a "skill" that i can use whenever i'm anywhere. I don't know how it'll all turn out, but if i were to make it to London (I depend on God to give me money through opportunities of jobs or donations or me raising support) then my parents want me to search for a grad school there in Europe.

    So now you know where I stand. The door named my parents are opened and now the door that i face is money. I'm honestly not too worried about it. I'm at a peace because I trust God. If He doesn't let me go then that's all that means: I wasn't meant to go specifically to the London internship. I am, however, trusting in God alone to deliver me to wherever it is He'd like me to do my ministry. It takes time as Borah mentioned in one of my comments who got it from Ross. "Let's not be hasty..." True, why be hasty when you have God to trust in and have full faith in to deliver you during His time and His time alone?

    All that i cared most about is now over. My parents are with me. Money? psh. w/e man. money don't own me. God will take care of me - He loves me that much and although i know i can never match His amount, i try to match it. I love Him.

    So now you know where i am in this process of mine. I'll wait patiently persevering to be excellent in the small things He has given me so that I can be excellent in the big things He will give me. So i'll try NOT to find reasons to get OUT of my classes (which seems to be really difficult considering that one of my classes only talk about one type of question that might be on a written test. Last time we talked about what a short answer question is from 5:15-6:30pm -.- it wasn't fun at all).

    Anyway, please continue to pray for me if u ever think of me and if u every find the time, fast for me. I will also seek God, dive deeper in His Word, pray, n  fast.

Saturday, 01 March 2008

  • Waiting for My Alter Call...

    I eagerly beseech Thee

    And wait for the coming day –

    When our love will be made complete.

    You are building our house; You say,

    “My bride, my love, all in good time – please wait.”

    I beg Your forgiveness for my impatience

    And ask for Your strength for me here stay.

    You prepare me and train me to be Your bride – Your guidance

    Is for me to obey.

     

    You offer me more – streets of gold.

    I do not need it; all I need is that I dwell with You.

    Old promises that will come to pass – the old story that was told.

    It’s I You seek, it’s I You love and it is I You woo.

    You seduce me in all areas and keep me under Your wing.

    You think me lovely and you call me “Beloved” when I am worthless.

    My Bridegroom and forever mine – this wedding causes me to sing!

    You are the King of all kings and You choose me to wed – Your Highness,

    For the love You have for me I thank Thee. My awesome Bridegroom-to-be

    When it is time, You will call for me to walk down the aisle to the alter to greet Thee.

    And just to let You know, “I do.”

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Krn_Krayz

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    • Name: Grace
    • Birthday: 11/5/1986
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